My Take On It

CHOICEMOMS--SELFISH OR NOT?

My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor - washingtonpost.com

So, it's my 33rd birthday next week and I must face one reality. I am still childless, LOL. At the moment, I'm not married. In fact, I may not ever get married. Nothing scary about that, but it is a fact nonetheless. So, what options does a lady have these days? I could relentlessly pursue Mr. Right, I could adopt, or what about a sperm donor? But one would have to ask themselves, is it really ethical to place a child into that kind of a situation?

The article above is by a young woman named Katrina Clark. Her mother made the choice to use an anonymous sperm donor in order to have her much wanted child. Was she selfish? Well, let me see: She made a decision to sacrifice her own freedom as a single carefree woman in the favor of someone else, her child. I wouldn't call that selfish. However, there are selfish people within groups from all walks of life. Choicemoms are not immune from selfishness just as married moms aren't immune.

Fortunately, a few sperm banks now make available identity release donors. They are few in number when compared to donors who prefer to remain anonymous. If more open donors were available, I believe more women would choose them. I will say this, any woman who opts for an anonymous donor over an open donor is selfish; that is, if she is doing it for the sake of anonymity. If open donors were unavailable or she can't afford the fees, that is a different story. Children should have the choice as to whether or not they would like to know the identity of their donors. With that said, I believe that donors who would not give the child the opportunity to learn about their heritage are equally selfish. Note, I did not say they had to financially support offspring or even be a father figure in their lives. I am saying it's wrong to deny an offspring the opportunity to learn.

Am I making a value judgement? Absolutely! The child didn't ask to be donor conceived. They should at least be allowed to make the choice to find answers to unanswered questions.

Still, I support single mothers by choice. No woman should have to deny herself the gift of a child simply because she is not married. Besides, women have the right to end their child's life via abortion. They should have the right to give life. That's my 25 cents.

Labels: Anonymous donor, choicemoms, identity release, Katrina Clark, open donor, sperm donor

posted by LorMarie @ 7:57 PM